Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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