He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
