Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
