Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
