C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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