I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
