Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
