HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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