just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
