And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
