i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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