Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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