i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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