My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
