Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
