Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
