I cannot find my penis.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize