And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
