It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
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