I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
