WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
