What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
