Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
COCAINE IS GR8
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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