hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
