what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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