I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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