Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
