She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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