Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
