the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
