A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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