she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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