someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
