Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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