you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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