Your dad touched me again.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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