Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
