Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
