Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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