i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
please don't ironically join a cult
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