3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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