How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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