Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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