Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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