spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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