She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
