i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
