Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize