Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
