I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my being single is dangerous.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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