He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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