He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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