think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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