grandma shit on top of the toilet
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
