i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If that was your dad, he is hot
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I've blown a few things in my day
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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