I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
