Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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