had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
